Missouri is the center of the universe?

Well, it must be.

Since I last posted to apologize for giving the country J. Jesus AssKKKroft and Rash Limpbowell and breathed a sigh of relief that Gephardt had dropped out of the presidential race, I have just found out this instant that Blake Ashby (remember that dimestore romance name?) is a Representative from Missouri, and in reading the Suskind book yesterday, I found that, as a boy, Paul O'Neill lived in Missouri

We're just coming out of the woodwork, folks.

Business entrepreneur Blake Ashby, 39, achieved his first professional goal: he became a self-made multi-millionaire before age 40. That's why he figures he's got nothing to lose by making a run for President in 2004. Ashby -- who has already qualified for the Missouri and New Hampshire primary ballots -- vows he will spend what it takes to get on additional state ballots and get his message out about where the GOP needs to go. And -- since he's worth tens of millions -- he has the ability to do just that.

...He supports medical marijuana, opposes unfunded mandates "such as the current 'no child left behind' rhetoric", advocates federal tax reform, supports strengthening environmental protection laws, opposes deficit budgets, believes "our first and best line of national defense has always been democratic capitalism [and] free trade", and wants to return nearly all control over education to the state/local levels.

..He explains that he is not running to defeat Bush -- whom he says he respects -- but is ultimately running "because the Republican primaries are our one chance to let the party know how important our traditional Republican values are."

That's the whole point of running for president, isn't it? Get outta the road, Ashby. The rest of us are looking to defeat Bush.

Bill Wyatt is not a Missourian, but he's on the Republican list on the Missouri primary ballot. And besides Bush and Ashby, he's the only one.

Wyatt is a peace candidate opposed to Bush's foreign policy. His top platform plank is entitled "No New Wars." He explains: "We need to stop the military expansion and promote peace. I do not believe that our international efforts are sincere. If we spend the same effort solving problems at home as we spend making the world serve our interest, then we and the world would be in better shape." He also wants to create an online "Alternative Government Network" by using a message board to encourage the public to help build his administration. As for his other views, he wants to "guarantee a college level education to all ... guarantee healthcare and medicine ... guarantee a secure retirement ... decriminalize the Internet ... replace consumerism as our dominant industry ... regain our civil rights ... [and] develop our economy at home first."

Dude, this guy is a Republican!?!

Oh, from California. That explains it.

When I lived in San Francisco, any time I would visit my mom in Missouri and she'd introduce me to someone who didn't already know me, she'd always include the fact that I was from California, and they'd invariably get this kind of cautious, knowing look, and say, quietly, "Oh."

....but hey, do what you want....you will anyway.