It Must Be Sunday

I turned on the TV and thought I had a TV preacher. But, it seems that it’s a 30-minute huckster program. This guy was a “fortune-teller” who found there wasn’t as much money in that as there is in bilking simple religious folk.

Permit me to share.

God came to him and told him that he should make an offer to 3,000 people that if they would plant a seed of $273.00, God would turn their lives around with a miracle breakthrough. Hallelujah! And these are powerful numbers. The number two is the number of agreement; seven is the number of (crap, I forgot); three is the number of the trinity; and when you add them together, you get twelve – the number of divine power. You know this is from God, because he himself could never have come up with that in a million years on his own.

He says it’s not the size of the seed that you plant, but that you are being obedient to God’s will. This is a seed of obedience. You’re not buying God’s favor. You’re showing him you are obedient.

During his 30-minutes, these are the people he can “see” out there watching him:

There are 12 watching right now who have not been favored in life, but within 24 hours of their decision to be obedient to God, somebody’s going to favor them.

There are 4 of you out there who are in a lawsuit and need it to be decided in your favor.

There is a woman watching who is having trouble in her marriage, and if she will plant this seed, it will turn her marriage around.

There is a man out there who needs a turn-around in his business.

There’s a woman watching who doesn’t believe in God, but this is going to make her a millionaire; He’s going to do something supernatural in her finances – "I don’t know whether it’s gonna come from a son or a friend or a neighbor.

“I keep seeing this person, and it’s almost like I see you on the edge of a mountain, and God is going to give you a miracle.

"You have no idea what life is like when God decides to like you. When God decides to like you, your life will change within 24 hours. When God gives you the nod, your life will change within 24 hours.”

You’re to call and say you are one of the three thousand, and it’s very important that you name this as a miracle breakthrough seed. God told him to tell you that if you name it thusly, you will receive a breakthrough. He keeps repeating that you’re to go to the phone and call and when you do, you’re to tell the person on the line that you are one of the three thousand that it’s very important to name this a miracle breakthrough seed. I assume this is because they are using a pool of phone answerers who work for any number of TV offers (which are different in the fact that you actually get something for the money you send), and you have to let them know which you’re responding to. And if you don’t say immediately, like he tells you to do, “I am one of the three thousand,” you will get someone asking you which TV offer you’re buying, and you’ll wise up.

I keep waiting for the caveat that allows this blatant fleecing to be legal, but I haven’t heard it. Unless it was when he said, “In order for somebody to win money, someone has to lose money.” !!

At the last few minutes, when “we’re running out of time,” he threw this in: “There are 12 watching who have heard how I personally planted a $1,000 seed and the heavens opened on my life. And God’s going to give you a FedEx miracle like he gave me if you plant a $1,000 seed. There are 3,000 who are going to plant the $273.00 seed, but twelve of you are going to plant that $1,000 seed. When you call the number you see on your screen, be sure to say, ‘I am one of the twelve’ or ‘I am one of the three thousand’.”

The fortunte-teller also said you can plant your miracle breakthrough seed online, so if you want to go for it, the TV screen shows this information: Inspiration Ministries, NC.

....but hey, do what you want....you will anyway.