Friday, March 19, 2004

Even a hillbilly can cipher

From Buddy Don via South Knox Bubba:

all my life, folks has been cumplainin bout how the gummint spends too much money. whenever twuz the dimocrats a doon it, twuz attackd as 'tax n spend.' now that the publicans have taken it to a new level, ye gut a differnt problem: 'borry n spend.' that means everthang git more eggspensive. heres the quayshun ye git fer that:


differnts twixt 'tax n spend' vs 'borry n spend'
tax n spend
(cost of thangs) = (cost of thangs)
borry n spend
(cost of thangs) = (cost of thangs)
+ (interst on the money that wuz borried)
...

how did we git them publicans to go fer this kinda runaway borryin?

1. now aint nobidy that kin deny how the war has to be paid fer n ye mite thank folks wood put them costs in befor votin on the budget, but as it happend, the gummint couldnt figger out how much twuz a'gonna cost till after the budget had dun been passed: so one way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to make em vote befor ye give em all the costs of thar vote!

2. then ye gut that thar medicare benefit fer them drug cumpnies, witch as ye mite member, twuz hard to git them publicans to vote fer it. they had to have em a exter long votin session (in sted of 15 mints, they tuck near 3 hours), witch that hepped em git the last vote they needed: so a nuther way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to make em stay up real late till they finely vote lack thar spozed to accordin to thar leaders.

3. to git everbidy to vote fer that thar medicare benefit fer them drug cumpnies, ye had to threaten sum of em with attacks on thar kids politicull careers: so a thurd way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to threaten thar kids ifn they dont go along.

4. mainly, ye had to keep the real cost of that thar medicare benefit fer them drug cumpnies a secret, witch turnt out twoodnt a mere $400,000,000,000 lack twuz claimd but $521,000,000,000: corse, the best way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to keep em in the dark bout the real costs, witch thisns rilly jes lack method number 1 above.


The whole post.

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