Top 11 reasons Dr. Condoleezza Rice is trying to negotiate her way out of testifying under oath before the 9-11 Commission. Courtesy Too Stupid to Be President:
11. Threatening the commissioners failed.
10. Afraid the Bible will burn her hand when she's sworn in.
9. Might need to lie about sex with the President.
8. Stalling until the commission's term expires in May.
7. Invoking the 5th always awkward in an election year.
6. Afraid someone will ask what a woman has to do to get Chevron to name a supertanker after her.
5. No one wants to be the John Dean of this administration.
4. Just because President Bill Clinton was compelled to testify under oath in a far less important matter doesn't mean she's not above the law.
3. "Cooperating fully," means five minutes of pleasantries exchanged with a sympathetic, Republican member of the commission in private and off the record.
2. Remembers what happened to all those Warren Commission witnesses.
1. After specific warnings from the intelligence services of at least 11 countries, various Tom Clancy novels, and even an episode of the 'X-Files" spin-off "The Lone Gunmen," saying that no one "could have predicted that they would try to use a hijacked airplane as a missile," was just a wee bit misleading.
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
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