The Lone Star State

Chuck Norris is predicting that Texans might rise up and declare our independence — and that he might run for president [of Texas].

As if we don’t have enough trouble in Austin, Norris wrote Tuesday in his syndicated column that some American state like Texas might "stand and secede" from the "wayward federal government."

[...]

Norris wrote that Texans might rebel "if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state."

  Star Telegram

Well, we have just as good a chance as anybody. After all, we have our own electrical grid.

And I’m sure that many of our northern neighbors would be tickled to see us go. After all, we suck up a lot of federal aid money while paying a lower share of taxes in return. And, let’s face it, there are a lot of Chuck Norrises down here. I wonder if they’ve thought about how they are going to replace those federal dollars when they secede.

Chuck Norris, indeed. Hollywood! It’s hard not to notice that the wingers squawk loud and long about how Hollywood shouldn’t even be considered American without even batting an eye about rallying behind Ronald Reagan, Charlton Heston and…

…Chuck Norris.

He’s kicking mad that the United States has somehow "bastardized" religious freedom by having a secular government. He quotes a 1776 Adams letter saying that the Constitution works only for "a moral and religious people."

Norris added that he thinks the Republicans are taking the nation the same direction as the Democrats, "just slower."

He used the s-word: "Other states might stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it." He ominously described "thousands of cell groups" ready to join.

I would even be willing to move back north if we could just put all those “thousands of cell groups” in Texas and cut them loose. Stick to bad acting Chuck. (Or maybe he is.)

....but hey, do what you want....you will anyway.

P.S. Bud Kennedy points out in that article that Chuck may not be eligible to be president of Texas since he was born in Oklahoma. Ooops.