Made for TV
The 15 British military captives who were released by the Iranians have been authorised by the Ministry of Defence (MoD) to sell their stories.[...]
The story of Faye Turney, 26, the only female among them, is expected to be the most lucrative. She could profit by as much as £150,000 from a joint deal with a newspaper and ITV.
[...]
The Royal Marines have agreed to pool their fees from newspapers to share out equally between those who were held captive and to give 10% to their service benevolent fund. The Royal Navy personnel are likely to be allowed to keep their money individually.
They hadn't even given testimony to officials yet.
Well, you know, it's a shame the traumatically wounded aren't saleable. They could probably use the money.
Flight Lieutenant John Nichol, the RAF navigator tortured by the Iraqis after being taken prisoner in the first Gulf war, was told by the MoD not to talk to anyone about his experience but was allowed to write a censored book a year later while still in the service.[...]
Colonel Bob Stewart, a commander of British UN forces in Bosnia, said: “I am appalled the MoD is encouraging them to profit from a military disaster. Some of them are acting like reality TV stars.”
[...]
[T]he marines were planning to sell on eBay the vases given to them in their “goody bags” by the Iranians.
[...]
One of the hostages, Dean Harris, 30, an acting sergeant in the Royal Marines, told a Sunday Times reporter yesterday: “I want £70,000. [...] I know Faye has been offered a heck more than that. I am worth it because I was one of only two who didn’t crack.”
Is it too late to send Dean back?
Laugh Your Way Through
Ahmed Ahmed, comedian currently doing the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, has the unfortunate distinction of having the same name as a terrorist on the government's no-fly list and the FBI's most wanted. The weekend before the 2004 elections, the government did a sweep in this country, and Ahmed spent 12 hours in jail waiting to be cleared.
AHMED: Luckily, now I've been able to find humor out of that and stretch it into my act. [...] I do a joke where I say now I just show up in a G-string. [...] I'm going to get strip searched anyway so I might as well save everybody some time.
Pratfall
Ba-dum-bum.The archbishop of Chicago has been hospitalized with a hip injury after slipping on some spilled holy water. I believe that’s what is called a negative job review. A spokeswoman for the archdiocese blamed the fall on “his exuberance with the holy water.”
Another Second Or Two, And....
[Ford President Alan Mulally] had to be quick on his feet to make sure President Bush plugged a power cord into the right socket on a Ford hydrogen-electric plug-in hybrid.[...]
Ford wanted to give the Commander-in-Chief an actual demonstration of the innovative vehicle, so the automaker arranged for an electrical outlet to be installed on the South Lawn and ran a charging cord to the hybrid. However, as Mulally followed Bush out to the car, he noticed someone had left the cord lying at the rear of the vehicle, near the fuel tank.
"I just thought, 'Oh my goodness!' So, I started walking faster, and the President walked faster and he got to the cord before I did. I violated all the protocols. I touched the President. I grabbed his arm and I moved him up to the front," Mulally said. "I wanted the president to make sure he plugged into the electricity, not into the hydrogen This is all off the record, right?"
Riiiiiiight.
Ha!
You know what was happening there. I can just picture it. The Boy King felt someone trying to catch up to him, and he was determined to be the leader (which is very important to him, no matter where he is, and even when the event is to honor someone else.), so he picked up speed to stay in front, and the race was on. In a rush to blow himself up. Had to be protected from himself. Again. What was Dick doing? Tagging behind looking a bit bewildered? Huffing a little harder trying to keep up? (Or maybe he put the cord there!) I wish I had a video.
Okay, just the surface of the story is funny. We've seen Bush bumble and fumble enough to know, as Mulally did, that it could easily have happened. And there's a joke to be made there about Nancy Pelosi's near miss at actually becoming President, not just doing the job of the president (that is Dick in the picture, isn't it?). But, after the surface humor wears off, there's much more that might not be so funny.
I wonder where the person who put that cord down near the fuel tank is right now, and how long he or she was grilled by the Secret Service. And I wonder how long before Mulally needs to retire and spend more time with his family.
And I also wonder if the cord jack designs on Ford hybrids are such that it's actually possible to plug the cord into the wrong socket and blow yourself to smithereens. Would that be considered a design flaw? Could there be a problem here?
Like Shootin' Fish in a Barrel
House Bill 308, which the House sent to the Senate on Thursday, makes hunting easier for legally blind hunters like McGowen by allowing them to use laser sight devices, which are currently forbidden for hunting in Texas.[...]
"This is so important and I want to thank Rep. Edmund Kuempel for this," McGowen said. "I've said that sometimes sighted people don't have vision, but he's a man of vision."
Indeed.
Makes it "easier". They could always do it here in Texas. It's just easier now. Easier for a blind man to hunt turkeys than for a black man to vote, I think.
Currently, there are no requirements for legally blind hunters in Texas. All they need to hunt is a valid Texas hunting license. There is no requirement that they must be accompanied by anyone, either.[...]
Kuempel, R-Seguin, wrote the legislation that would allow legally blind hunters to use laser sights during hunting hours and when accompanied by a licensed hunter who is at least 13 years old and is not legally blind.
So, really, it sounds like this could be an improvement, when you think about it - provided it doesn't increase the number of blind hunters in the woods, but that the blind hunters who are already out there decide to use lasers and take some kid with them.
So quitcher worryin'. We ain't stooopid.
The bill's author, however, said it's his goal to get more blind people outdoors. Whatever. My guess is that what it's really intended to do is to make more sighted wannabe hunters feel a little safer about going into the woods in Texas. Like maybe the bill's author?
Frankly, I think the "sport" of hunting ought to have the risk of being shot. More of a sport that way. Ask Big Dick's hunting partner, Harry I'm-sorry-for-all-the-grief-my-getting-shot-in-the-face-by-Cheney-has-caused-him-and-his-family Whittington. (They were hunting in Texas, by the way. Where, I suppose it's possible that blind drunk is legally blind.)
....but hey, do what you want....you will anyway.
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