Let us pray

By Avery Walker | RAW STORY COLUMNIST

I would like you to join with me, friends, in a little prayer. Let us fold our hands, close our eyes, open our hearts, and ask whatever God, force or deity we pray to for what the world needs most in this, our time of distress. We need a plague. A really big one. Or a famine. Or, perhaps, a really, really big natural disaster. You see, it seems that the world’s resources are about to get a tad scarce, and since birth control is an unacceptable option to the pious, all we can do is simply hope that somehow, some way, a large portion of the world’s population is wiped from its face before it comes to a question of them or us.

I know it sounds cruel, but this seems more likely a request to be granted than a sudden change in the hearts of men—and frankly, right up God’s alley. As Penn Jillette once said, “The Lord works in mysterious, inefficient, and breathtakingly cruel ways.” The tsunami was a good warm up, but I think it’s time to get serious. Every firstborn son serious. But, remember: we are respecting human life here, so birth control is never the answer.

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