Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Grow a pair - or just look like it with implants

For the truly caring pet owner, the fine people at Neuticles have been there for a few years now, offering you the option of cosmetic surgery to put balls back [on your neutered pet] where no balls currently reside. You can have nut implants put on your cat, dog, horse, or bull - they come in multiple sizes. No, they don't act like real testicles, but they give the illusion that the poor beast actually has balls.

So it was that Democratic Senators took to the floor of their chamber yesterday, not to praise Condi, but certainly not to bury her. (Rice was just confirmed 85-13.) And perhaps feeling yearnings from their phantom balls, so long AWOL after 9/11, several of the Senators not only dissented from the pro-Condi majority, but called the Bush Administration out for its lies. If we're handin' out the Neuticles, let's give a big bull pair, 5.75" each, to Minnesota's Mark Dayton, who finally, at long last, trotted out the word "lie" [...]

[...]

Other Senators deserving Great Dane-sized Neuticles are Barbara Boxer, who kept up the fight she started in the hearing committee [...] and Michigan's Carl Levin, who threw down about accountability [...] And let's graft on some cat-sized Neuticles to Jack Reed of Rhode Island [...]

[...]

(Robert Byrd and Ted Kennedy have such big, sagging, functioning balls that Neuticles would be an insult.)

[...]

Meanwhile, Joe Lieberman continued his re-circumcising right there on the floor of the Senate by quoting Bush's maniacal Inaugural address. Then Lieberman decided to push it further, saying, in essence, vote for the poor black woman: [...] "She has earned the nomination the President has given her."
  Rude Pundit post

I'd give Boxer the bull-sized ones. She earned 'em.

....but hey, do what you want....you will anyway.

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